I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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