he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
