Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
