I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
