I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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