We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
