Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
