I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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