Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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