I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
