Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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