talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize