Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
where does the pee come out of this thing
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
