This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
