just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
