I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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