Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
