Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We had sex on a dog bed..
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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