If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize