it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have tasted many bathrooms
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
