I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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