I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
