if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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