I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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