I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I AM VODKA MAN
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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