Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
