WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
