So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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