i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
now i know why i became what i already was.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize