I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize