Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
