you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
