I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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