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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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