I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize