Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize