she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Randomize
