We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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