winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize