its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
