oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
