you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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