but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
