butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
