did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
