if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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