I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
