i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
