I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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