I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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