I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
