Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
