You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
