I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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