spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
