He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
