yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize