You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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