all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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