i think i have herpe
just one?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
