oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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