There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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