If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
